Posts tagged family

My wife and I have been going back and forth about having just one more. Rochelle wants this so badly, but I am just not on board. She talks about years down the road, when we're at Disneyland and when one of us has to ride solo because there's an odd number. I gladly raise my hand and volunteer. She talks about big family gatherings in 20 years, and I think about serving bread and milk because of college and two weddings I just had to pay for. She thinks about a house that our kids grow up in and growing old in that same house until I die first... I think about selling our home as soon as the kids are out, buying a shack on the beach and working at a rent-a-scooter shop. She wants a fourth kid so badly, and all I can think about is how divided my time is already.

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Today, I was dropping my son Cohen off to school and told him I was leaving for a few days and wouldn't see him when he got home. Like usual, I asked him to be the best helper he could and to listen to his mom. He said he would and also said that he would make sure he asked if his sisters were ok if they started crying(something we went over the other night). Then very enthusiastically he asked, "are you going to find your mom?!" You see, not very long ago, I spent two weeks away from home, walking the streets of Seoul, South Korea, in search of my birth mother and Cohen remembers this time very well. "Are you going to find your mom?!" "No son, not this time. I'm just going to go play my guitar with a bunch of friends." We sat in silence for just a min or two which for him means he's crafting a novel in his head, he's a deep thinker. "Dad, I think you're going to find your mom." I don't really know how to ever respond to that except by saying, "I hope so." Another minute pause in the conversation.

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